A Witch’s Kitchen Read online

  “Your brother goes to the Logical Realm?” Millie asked.

  Sagara nodded. “He’s part of the species preservation team. Without magic to help them, many of the plant and animal species there are dying out. My brother collects endangered plants and brings them here, or even to other Realms.”

  Petunia’s eyes grew big as saucers. “He does that without magic? Sounds dangerous!”

  “Oh, puh-lease,” Sagara said. “Not you, too. My whole family goes on and on about what a hero he is. But none of them know that he’s really doing it so he can see Mom.”

  Millie was confused. “Sagara, why are you telling us this? Aren’t you putting both your brother and mother at risk?”

  “Well, I made you swear. Also, we’re in a Dome of Silence,” Sagara pointed out. “Thanks for that, by the way,” she told Max. “I know Quercius is different, but every other tree I know is a terrible gossip. They’d spread the news faster than you can fly.”

  “My pleasure,” Max murmured, staring at his pizza.

  “Also, well...” Sagara bit her lip. “I need your help.”

  “Uh oh,” Petunia said. “To do what, exactly?”

  Sagara straightened her back. “I want to go to the Logical Realm to be with my mother.”

  “To visit?” Millie asked.

  “No. I want to run away from home.”

  The Chocolate in Trouble

  Petunia snorted. “You just want to get away from your grandmother.”

  “Well, yes, duh,” Sagara said. “And I want to be with my mother. But also, there are some really interesting things happening in the Logical Realm. They’ve learned to do things without magic that we’ve never imagined, most of it using math. That’s why my mother left to live there. And I want to learn about it, too.”

  “But, you’ll be infected! You’ll become logical and lose all your magic!” Petunia cried.

  “Indubitably,” Max added.

  Sagara laughed. “Doesn’t seem to affect your dad. I checked up on him. He’s one of the most powerful wizards in the Enchanted Forest and several other Realms.” She put her palms down on the table. “I don’t think logic and magic are incompatible. They’re just two different ways of getting things done. What I want,” and the elf’s eyes began to gleam, “is to find ways to combine them, to use the strengths of both disciplines, together.”

  “Hmm, sort of like combining two recipes,” Millie said. She enjoyed doing that.

  Sagara shook her head violently. “No, more like using recipes to... to build bridges. Or using music to plant crops.”

  Petunia shrugged. “Just sounds like more magic to me.”

  “Regardless, travel to the Logical Realm is very dangerous,” Max insisted. “You can be lost between Realms! And even if you do get there, you’ll lose all your magic, and there’s a good chance you’ll never get home.”

  “I think it’s worth the risk. Will you help me?” Sagara looked at each of them, pleading.

  Millie nodded. “What do you need us to do?”

  “Right now, I need help with research,” Sagara said. “I need to figure out where the nearest portal to the Logical Realm is. Max, your dad probably knows. I’d like you to look through his notes, see if you can find anything out.”

  “Gadzooks!” Max exclaimed. “If Dad finds me going through his notes, he’ll skin me alive. Besides, all his notes are in...” He paused, thunderstruck. “They’re all in English.”

  “Told you so,” Sagara said smugly. She turned to Millie. “Millie, you’re one of the fastest readers I’ve ever met. Could you help me read through books on Realm travel and figure out how to open the portal?”

  Millie nodded. “Sure, that sounds interesting.”

  “What about me?” asked Petunia.

  “Two things,” said Sagara. “I need you to keep an eye on our enemies. If the goblins figure out what we’re doing...”

  “Or Cretacia,” Max added gloomily.

  “I’m on it!” Petunia said, looking fierce. “What’s the other thing?”

  Sagara looked embarrassed. “Well, um, you’re a pixie. So perhaps you could give me some pixie dust? To make it easier to open the portal?”

  Petunia frowned. “You know I can’t do that. Pixie code of honor.” She thought for a moment. “But if I go with you to the portal, I can use it myself.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that,” Sagara said. “It’s much too dangerous. Max and Millie are human, and I’m close enough to human to be able to survive without magic. But pixies are an inherently magical race. If you accidentally slip through the portal, I don’t know what would happen to you. You might turn into a bird, or a flower, or you might simply cease to exist.”

  “Hmph,” said Petunia. “Then I’ll just have to be careful.”

  “Won’t you need clothes from the Logical Realm?” Max asked.

  Sagara looked pointedly down at her shirt, which was yellow with a drawing of triangles inside triangles inside triangles. She was also wearing the odd blue trousers again.

  “Oh,” Millie said. “You’ve been wearing Logical Realm clothes all along.”

  “My brother brings them back for me,” Sagara confirmed. “But actually, it wouldn’t matter. The local portal to the Logical Realm connects to one of the few places where I could dress like an elf or a wizard or a witch without anyone noticing at all.” She pulled out a book, written in English, titled Welcome to Witch City.

  “There’s a city of witches?” Millie gasped. “How is that even possible?”

  Sagara laughed. “It isn’t. There are no witches there anymore, but the humans in the Logical Realm remember when there used to be. About three hundred years ago, some people in a place called Salem went kind of crazy and started accusing each other of being witches, which was considered evil and dangerous. They actually killed several people before they finally calmed down and remembered there’s no magic.”

  “Muck and muddle,” said Petunia. “And that’s where you want to go?”

  “Oh, it’s all different now,” Sagara explained. “Today, people think it’s fun to pretend to be witches and wizards and pirates. Salem has become a gathering place for people who do this, so it’s completely normal to walk around dressed as a wizard or a witch.”

  “Ingenious,” Max said. “Place the portal where you’re least likely to be noticed.”

  Millie noticed other students getting up and clearing their tables. “I think the recess gong just rang,” she said. Fortunately, they’d consumed every last crumb of lunch already, so clearing up was easy.

  “Excuse me,” said Millie. “I have an appointment with Headmistress Pteria and Mistress Mallow during recess.”

  “Oh, is this about the cacao tree you sprouted?” Sagara asked.

  Millie nodded. “And because Mistress Mallow thinks something funny is going on with my magic.”

  “I’ll say,” Sagara replied. “Make sure you tell them about the elfcakes.”

  Max took a quick look around, but Cretacia was nowhere to be seen. Pulling out his wand, he tapped the dome lightly, and it burst like a soap bubble. The babble of the schoolyard washed over them again.

  “See you at Thaumaturgy!” Millie told her friends, and she started off for the stairs.

  When she reached the Headmistress’s office, she heard voices chattering, hushed but excited. She caught a few words: tampering and exceptional and motives. Not wanting to eavesdrop, Millie knocked politely on the doorframe.

  The voices hushed, and Millie heard hasty footsteps. Headmistress Pteria pulled aside the curtain.

  “Ah, Millie, my apologies,” the dragon said. “I know you expected to meet with me and Mistress Mallow now, but I’m afraid something urgent has come up. Can you come to school a little early on Onesday?”

  Millie swallowed her disappointment. “Yes, of course, Headmistress.”

  Pteria smiled kindly at her. “Thank you for your patience, my dear. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” And the Headmistress turned and
let the curtain fall behind her. Then Millie heard her pronounce the words she’d just heard Max use for the Dome of Silence, and all was still.

  Millie stood for a moment, at a loss for what to do. She’d never been alone in the school before. Sagara and Max were undoubtedly in the library, Petunia out in the glade watching for Grumpkin and Cretacia. But Millie wanted to check on Thea, and to see if Mistress Mallow was in the lab, where she might be able to help Millie turn Horace back. She headed up the stairs to the lab.

  The lab seemed deserted at first, but then Millie heard a small, familiar voice grumble from the dark corner where Thea’s table was. “No,” said Grumpkin. “I won’t let you.”

  Quickly, Millie hid behind one of the workbenches, then peeped out at the corner. Grumpkin stood in front of Thea, his arms folded and his jaw set. Before him stood Cretacia.

  “You are my minion,” Cretacia hissed, “and you will do as I say.”

  Grumpkin shook his head stubbornly. “I agreed to spy for you, and I agreed to harass your cousin. That was fun, actually. Good cookies. But I won’t kidnap someone for you, and I won’t let you kidnap someone, neither.”

  A chill ran down Millie’s spine. Cretacia wouldn’t, would she?

  “Moron,” Cretacia said. “I just want to study it, to see what trick Duddy’s trying to pull, convincing everyone she’s special when she’s got no talent to speak of.”

  Grumpkin stood firm. “I know how you study things,” he said. “I’ve helped you often enough. You’re going to hurt that little baby tree. Do you know what Quercius will do to you? What he’ll do to me?”

  “No one will ever know,” Cretacia said soothingly. “If the stupid tree gets hurt, we can blame Duddy. She messes everything up, doesn’t she?”

  “If your mother knew,” Grumpkin began.

  “If my mother knew that you were disobeying me,” Cretacia growled, her fingers twisting into claws, “she’d send her golems to trample your home and grind your family into paste. Now get out of my way.”

  Grumpkin turned pale. He glanced over his shoulder, clearly wavering.

  Millie jumped to her feet. “Stop!” she screamed. “You leave Thea alone!”

  Cretacia spun around, her angry snarl turning into a delighted grin. “Duddy! How nice of you to join us.”

  “Step away from there,” Millie said.

  Cretacia sniggered. “Or what? You’ll bake at me?” She doubled over laughing. “There’s nothing you can do, except...”

  Behind Cretacia, Grumpkin had tiptoed to the little cacao tree. Gingerly, he picked it up, then motioned at the door. Millie needed to keep Cretacia’s attention.

  “Except what?” she asked warily.

  Cretacia put her hands on her hips and thrust up her chin, braids waving about her head like snakes. “Tell me how you tricked them. Just admit what you did, and I’ll leave the stupid plant alone.”

  “I don’t know what I did,” Millie said, “but it wasn’t a trick. It just happened.”

  “Oh, come on,” Cretacia said. “Everyone knows you lost your magic when you were five.”

  “I did?” Millie asked. Grumpkin was edging along the wall, Thea cradled in one arm. “I don’t remember that at all.”

  “Of course not,” Cretacia said. “I heard it was some spectacular failure, an explosion. It wiped your memory and destroyed your magic. Your mother tried to hush it up, but we all knew.”

  Millie frowned. “What kind of explosion? What did I do?”

  Cretacia threw up her hands. “Oh, how should I know? All I know is, you blew it and ruined your talent forever. So you can’t possibly have transformed that bean. Jäädy!” she cried suddenly, pointing at Grumpkin. The goblin stopped just steps from the doorway, frozen in place with a look of terror on his face.

  “Thought you could sneak past me?” Cretacia said. “I see what’s going on. You two are conspiring against me!” She turned back to Millie. “I don’t know how you’ve broken my hold on Grumpkin, but you’ll pay for interfering with my minion. Syyliä!”

  Millie felt warts erupt over her entire body, throbbing and aching. Oh, won’t Mother be pleased, she thought absurdly.

  Cretacia grinned at her. “There, now you look more like a proper witch. Now, let’s see about this tree of yours.” She reached out a hand toward Grumpkin.

  “No,” Millie said. “Do what you want to me, but leave Thea alone.”

  “You really need more practice bargaining,” Cretacia crooned. “Don’t offer me something I can already do anyway, stupid. Of course I can do what I want to you. Haven’t I always?” She turned back to Grumpkin.

  Millie thought fast. Cretacia’s magic was generally spoken. If she could prevent Cretacia from speaking... Quickly, Millie pointed at Cretacia and said, “Hiljaisuuskupla!” A strong tingle went through her, from the tips of her toes to the top of her head and right out through her finger. The Dome of Silence popped into being around Cretacia.

  Cretacia’s jaw dropped. She screamed something furiously, but Millie couldn’t hear a thing. She breathed a sigh of relief. Thea was safe.

  “WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?” Master Quercius thundered. Millie looked up, spotting his face in the doorframe. “I DETECTED POWERFUL MAGIC IN THIS ROOM, WHICH SHOULD BE EMPTY. GRUMPKIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THEA?”

  “He saved her!” Millie cried. “Cretacia wanted to steal her, to figure out what I’d done to transform her, and Grumpkin wouldn’t let Cretacia do it.”

  “IS THAT SO, GRUMPKIN?” asked the Caretaker. “OH, LET’S REMOVE THAT FREEZE SPELL. KATOA!”

  Grumpkin nearly toppled over, but he held fast to Thea. “That’s right,” he said, nodding vigorously. “I may be her minion, but I won’t kidnap babies, not even baby trees. I ain’t that bad.”

  “WELL,” said the Dodonos, raising his mossy eyebrows. “THEN I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU, GRUMPKIN. WOULD YOU PLEASE SET THEA BACK ON HER WARMING SLATE?”

  “Yah, sure,” said Grumpkin, trotting over and depositing the pot in its place. Millie thought she heard Thea gasp with relief.

  “AND YOU, MILLIE,” Master Quercius asked, “WHAT WAS YOUR PART IN THIS?”

  Oh, darkness, Millie thought. I’m not supposed to be doing magic, especially not on students. “I, I came up here to talk to Mistress Mallow about another project of mine. I found Grumpkin trying to stop Cretacia. We got in an argument. She froze Grumpkin, she covered me with warts, and she was about to do something to Thea. So I had to stop her.”

  “WHICH YOU APPEAR TO HAVE DONE, QUITE EFFECTIVELY,” Master Quercius said. Cretacia was beating her fists against the inside of the dome, her green face nearly purple with rage. “I BELIEVE IT’S TIME WE LET HER OUT. WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE DOWN YOUR DOME?”

  “I’m not sure how,” Millie admitted.

  “TOUCHING IT SHOULD SUFFICE,” the Dodonos told her.

  Cautiously, Millie stepped forward and touched the dome.

  “I will destroy you and all your friends!” Cretacia screamed, launching herself at Millie.

  “JÄÄDY!” said Master Quercius. Cretacia froze mid-leap.

  “Ulp,” she said. “Um, I didn’t really mean that.”

  “PERHAPS NOT,” said Master Quercius. “NONETHELESS, YOU HAVE ATTACKED TWO OF MY STUDENTS AND ATTEMPTED TO KIDNAP AN INFANT. YOU ARE HEREBY DISMISSED FROM THIS SCHOOL. I AM SENDING YOU HOME. YOUR MOTHER AND THE AUTHORITIES WILL BE NOTIFIED. FAREWELL, CRETACIA NOCTMARTIS. MENE KOTIIN.”

  Cretacia threw Millie a look of pure hatred just before she vanished. Millie shivered. She knew she hadn’t seen the last of Cretacia.

  Millie heard a sudden rush of wings and pounding footsteps. Headmistress Pteria swooped in, followed by Mistress Mallow and Master Schist. “We came as quickly as we could,” the Headmistress said. “What happened?”

  Master Quercius quickly explained what had happened. The dragon blew an angry snort of flame. “Stormwinds! Is your cousin always this obnoxious?”

  Millie shook her head. “She was worse than u
sual.”

  “Beggin’ yer pardon,” Grumpkin said, “but that’s not so. She’s usually this bad an’ worse. She don’t like being outdone by anyone. Cretacia always has to be the best at everythin’, an’ sometimes that means making sure everyone else does worse.”

  “I must say, I’m surprised,” said Headmistress Pteria. “You were very courageous, Grumpkin. Cretacia is likely to want revenge upon you and your kin.”

  Grumpkin ground his teeth. “I know it. But I couldn’t just let her go an’ take a baby like that. It ain’t right.”

  Headmistress Pteria nodded. “Well said, and well done. I believe we can help you in this regard. I will speak to Cretacia’s mother on your behalf and explain that you were simply upholding her family’s honor.”

  Grumpkin looked at her, astonished, then up at Master Quercius. “You’d do that for me?”

  “It’s no more than the truth,” Headmistress Pteria pointed out. “By preventing Cretacia from harming Thea, you protected her from more dire consequences. Now, I believe you have class to get to.”

  “Yes, Headmistress,” said Grumpkin, bowing low. “Thank you, Headmistress.” He walked out the door, a look of wonder on his face.

  “Well, Millie,” said the Headmistress. “It seems to me that you were under the impression that you couldn’t do magic. Do you still believe that?”

  Millie found that she was shaking from the shock of it all. She sat down heavily on a stool. “No, Headmistress. I cast that spell, that Dome of Silence. I didn’t even know I could, I just did it.”

  “Had you ever attempted that spell before?” Mistress Mallow asked.

  Millie shook her head. “I’d never seen it before today. Max used it at lunch to shut Cretacia out, and then, um,” Millie blushed, “I heard you use it in your office before I left.”

  “So you just imitated what you had seen and heard today?” the brownie asked. Millie nodded.

  “Well, let’s see if you can do it again,” said Mistress Mallow. “I imagine you don’t want to go around covered with warts. Why don’t you try dispelling them?”